What Is That Smell?

I should be in London right now, sleeping after a flight from Chicago to London Heathrow. Instead I write from a hotel room in suburban Chantilly, Virginia, near Dulles airport. Why is that? Where to begin...

Our flight was on the dreaded plane we knew had diverted a few weeks ago to Montreal, Canada, due to an engine problem. We were briefed before the flight that the crew on the inbound flight had smelled an electrical acrid odor and the galley power in economy was shut off. The mechanics do take things like this VERY seriously and were up in the crawl space, looking for sources of burning, worn wire, etc when it was in Chicago. They tore everything apart but found nothing. So lucky crew that we were, got the plane for our flight to London. A few hours into the flight, the burning smell came back. Cockpit took it VERY seriously, memories of Swissair in their minds. So were were supposed to divert to Boston. Then it was changed to Dulles, then back to Boston. Then...finally Dulles.

So there was several hours of flying with no lights (except the assorted emergency ones), no films, no electric seat recline and most importantly for a sleepy crew, no coffee. Putting every business and first class seat into bed mode manually and back again before landing wrecked our knees! 

At long last, or 445 am, we landed in DC. Thankfully the ground staff had scheduled a new aircraft and crew to take the passengers onwards , while we headed to the hotel. The Krispy Kreme doughnuts were most appreciated Holiday Inn!! 

Now back to work, flying home tonight....By the way 34D, not cool to call the lady sitting  in front of you a lard ass, have a little class please!!

Dear 33B

I do appreciate good hygiene as much as the next person, but brushing your teeth WHILE sitting in your seat, with a stranger sitting next to you, is NEVER appropriate. The toilets were vacant, and no cart was blocking your access. BAD MANNERS!!

That is NOT YOURS

We have all been waiting at the baggage carousel after a flight, waiting for our black rollaboard bag to pop into view. Suddenly it appears in the distance, you get ready for it to come to you when BAM, some traveller with poor eyesight starts to take your bag off the carousel. You have to race over and claim it as your own, usually as their bag comes into view, and is always a different color or vastly different size than the one they tried to take.

You can buy large brightly colored bag tags, but those can come off. Bin Hog has solved that problem by creating tags that wrap around the handle. Hopefully it will slow down the blind bag grabbers that try to take your luggage as theirs. At under $10, they seem a cheap way to keep others mitts off your bags. If you have any Navy or marines in your life, those tags are on sale as I write!! The company is run by a flight attendant, and if that isn't enough, she donates a portion of all sales to TAPS, which is the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, which is a support group for those grieving the death of a loved one that was killed while serving in the armed forces.

Overheard in Economy

Purser: Sir, the economy toilets are located behind you, these toilets are for business class.
Passenger: People have been coming up here the whole flight and using them!! Why didn't you say anything to them?
Purser:Sir, do you ever go fishing?
Passenger:Yes
Purser:Do you catch all the fish?

Computer Says No

Sorry for the total lack of postings. My laptop is being repaired yet again. if it were human it would have a Do Not Resuscitate order on it. As soon as it is up and running, I will be back with photos and posts. I am realizing being without a laptop how very addicted to email I have become!!

Dear 32AB

Gentlemen,

If I could smack your collective heads together, I would.... Where to begin.....32A, we found you an alternative seat on a completely full flight because you were so crappy about being sat near a sick child. Getting someone to move closer to a vomiting tyke is no small feat, I assure you. This is akin to correcting the financial crisis that is unfolding in its impressiveness. You were ballsy enough to complain, somewhat forcefully, yet when the man in the aisle seat told you that he would NOT move to let you go to the toilet, you sat there. Why is it you can bark at a female crew member yet let a small man cower you into staying in your seat when you had to pee??

32B, you are not the border control to the aisle. If someone asks to get out of their seat, they are really politely TELLING you they are getting out. No is not really an acceptable answer. You are LUCKY I did not know this was going down. You are already being punished, being married to mother of the aforementioned barfing child, all she does is stare and make her sister clean up your child ( yes it was fun for me too, cleaning up when he also became incontinent, while the mother still stared). But seriously, MOVE when people need to go to the toilet for God's sake.

The Most Senior of Them All

At our airline, we are all on a seniority list, arranged by how long we have been flying, and choose our flights based on how far up the list we are. We have over 10,000 flight crew, and those in the top 999 are called 'area codes', those in the top 99 often called 'country codes' (not always affectionately).

Recently I flew with the number one flight attendant in out company. Ron Akana began flying in 1949. Yes, you read that correctly. nearly 60 years of flying and I have to say he works circles around most crew that were born after 1949. He is a total old school steward,I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to have flown with him. Ron kindly allowed me to ask him some questions about his career, he mailed me 4 pages of longhand answers to my questions. Here is Rons story in a tiny nutshell, the more I learn, the more I want him to write a book!!

How did you begin your career at our airline and what were you doing prior to flying?

In 1949 I was in my third year at the University of Hawaii,the president of XXX airlines, Pat Patterson had just bought 8 Boeing Stratocruisers. These were 4 propellor enging double deckers that seated 55 passengers on day flights, 52 at night. 4 berths were made up forward of the rest rooms.

A spiral staircase took you to a very plush lounge downstairs that held 14 passengers.

We were still 10 years before the jet age and coach fares were years away. Every seat was first class ( no movies).

Our president Pat Patterson had been born and raised in Hawaii and wanted 8 Hawaiian stewards to represent each of the eight main islands.

An ad was put in the papers and I along with 400 applicants applied for the 8 positions. To have been born and raised there, 2500 miles from any continent, would make you realize the great opportunity this job presented. It was exciting.

What has been your favorite aircraft to work and why?

The aircraft most pleasant to work and exciting to fly was and still is the Boeing 747. The first 747 had 3 lounges, 1 upstairs above first class that sat 6 with a table and a bar. The 2nd lounge was for first class and took up what is now business class. The 3rd lounge was a huge one for economy class between doors 3 and 4.

Movies were just being introduced in 1972.

What was your training like?

Our training consisted of 1 week inflight service all in the new Boeing Stratocruisers in HNL (Honolulu). Our instructor Lynn didn't know anything about the facilities onboard. She was a great gal and we all learned it together.

Our second week of training was emergency training at the Coast Guard station at the San Francisco, California airport.

By January 1st we were assigned to start the innagural HNL-SFO and SFO-HNL flights. 3 flight attendants on each, a first stewardess, a second stewardess who had to be a nurse and a steward.

The fun thing about training was that none of us knew anything about the plane. Our instructor was an expert in inflight services. The flight was 9 hours and 15 minutes. No movies. There was a hot meal service, then a beautiful seafood/cold cut/cheese/fruit and salad second meal service.

What were your layovers like then?

Our layovers were at the Ben Franklin Hotel in San Mateo, California for 4 days. We had club hose passes at two race tracks ( horses) and the use of a car. Great socializing on layovers in the peninsula.

What are some of your more memorable flights? Any celebs onboard?

The greatest celebrity trip was the cast of From Here to Eternity. Burt lancaster, Frank Sinatra, Montgomery Clift and Deborah Kerr.

Other celebrities were Bing Crosby and a planeload of top PGA golfers. Red Skelton, Sammy Davis, Susan Hayward, Ray Millan, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans and Elvis.

Is there anything special you always pack in your crew bag?

I always packed a suit sports coat and dress shoes besides casualy. Going out was always coat and tie dress.

This has been a great and wonderful life. My wife and I were the first flight attendants married ( 45 years now) and my daughter the first flight attendant born from flight attendants ( she is based 19 years now in denver).I put my son and daughter thru mainland colleges, and I have 5 grandchildren who have travelled extensively.