Dear 32AB

Gentlemen,

If I could smack your collective heads together, I would.... Where to begin.....32A, we found you an alternative seat on a completely full flight because you were so crappy about being sat near a sick child. Getting someone to move closer to a vomiting tyke is no small feat, I assure you. This is akin to correcting the financial crisis that is unfolding in its impressiveness. You were ballsy enough to complain, somewhat forcefully, yet when the man in the aisle seat told you that he would NOT move to let you go to the toilet, you sat there. Why is it you can bark at a female crew member yet let a small man cower you into staying in your seat when you had to pee??

32B, you are not the border control to the aisle. If someone asks to get out of their seat, they are really politely TELLING you they are getting out. No is not really an acceptable answer. You are LUCKY I did not know this was going down. You are already being punished, being married to mother of the aforementioned barfing child, all she does is stare and make her sister clean up your child ( yes it was fun for me too, cleaning up when he also became incontinent, while the mother still stared). But seriously, MOVE when people need to go to the toilet for God's sake.

The Most Senior of Them All

At our airline, we are all on a seniority list, arranged by how long we have been flying, and choose our flights based on how far up the list we are. We have over 10,000 flight crew, and those in the top 999 are called 'area codes', those in the top 99 often called 'country codes' (not always affectionately).

Recently I flew with the number one flight attendant in out company. Ron Akana began flying in 1949. Yes, you read that correctly. nearly 60 years of flying and I have to say he works circles around most crew that were born after 1949. He is a total old school steward,I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to have flown with him. Ron kindly allowed me to ask him some questions about his career, he mailed me 4 pages of longhand answers to my questions. Here is Rons story in a tiny nutshell, the more I learn, the more I want him to write a book!!

How did you begin your career at our airline and what were you doing prior to flying?

In 1949 I was in my third year at the University of Hawaii,the president of XXX airlines, Pat Patterson had just bought 8 Boeing Stratocruisers. These were 4 propellor enging double deckers that seated 55 passengers on day flights, 52 at night. 4 berths were made up forward of the rest rooms.

A spiral staircase took you to a very plush lounge downstairs that held 14 passengers.

We were still 10 years before the jet age and coach fares were years away. Every seat was first class ( no movies).

Our president Pat Patterson had been born and raised in Hawaii and wanted 8 Hawaiian stewards to represent each of the eight main islands.

An ad was put in the papers and I along with 400 applicants applied for the 8 positions. To have been born and raised there, 2500 miles from any continent, would make you realize the great opportunity this job presented. It was exciting.

What has been your favorite aircraft to work and why?

The aircraft most pleasant to work and exciting to fly was and still is the Boeing 747. The first 747 had 3 lounges, 1 upstairs above first class that sat 6 with a table and a bar. The 2nd lounge was for first class and took up what is now business class. The 3rd lounge was a huge one for economy class between doors 3 and 4.

Movies were just being introduced in 1972.

What was your training like?

Our training consisted of 1 week inflight service all in the new Boeing Stratocruisers in HNL (Honolulu). Our instructor Lynn didn't know anything about the facilities onboard. She was a great gal and we all learned it together.

Our second week of training was emergency training at the Coast Guard station at the San Francisco, California airport.

By January 1st we were assigned to start the innagural HNL-SFO and SFO-HNL flights. 3 flight attendants on each, a first stewardess, a second stewardess who had to be a nurse and a steward.

The fun thing about training was that none of us knew anything about the plane. Our instructor was an expert in inflight services. The flight was 9 hours and 15 minutes. No movies. There was a hot meal service, then a beautiful seafood/cold cut/cheese/fruit and salad second meal service.

What were your layovers like then?

Our layovers were at the Ben Franklin Hotel in San Mateo, California for 4 days. We had club hose passes at two race tracks ( horses) and the use of a car. Great socializing on layovers in the peninsula.

What are some of your more memorable flights? Any celebs onboard?

The greatest celebrity trip was the cast of From Here to Eternity. Burt lancaster, Frank Sinatra, Montgomery Clift and Deborah Kerr.

Other celebrities were Bing Crosby and a planeload of top PGA golfers. Red Skelton, Sammy Davis, Susan Hayward, Ray Millan, Roy Rogers and Dale Evans and Elvis.

Is there anything special you always pack in your crew bag?

I always packed a suit sports coat and dress shoes besides casualy. Going out was always coat and tie dress.

This has been a great and wonderful life. My wife and I were the first flight attendants married ( 45 years now) and my daughter the first flight attendant born from flight attendants ( she is based 19 years now in denver).I put my son and daughter thru mainland colleges, and I have 5 grandchildren who have travelled extensively.

More Evenings With Celebs

After reading the 40 questions answered, an anonymous poster asked for more celeb stories. I was going to have to scratch my brain when on my flight from London to Los Angeles there sat Zac Effron and Vanessa Hudgens from High School Musical (in First class of course). They were in London for the premiere of HSM3. I haven't seen HSM or HSM2, but read enough gossip mags to know who these 2 were. Sweet as pie and honest to goodness in lone. I had read that she was a 'beard' for him, but their body language indicated otherwise. What was sad was seeing the WALL of paparazzi meeting them in LA. They hung around in customs until their limo was there, put on hats, glasses and dashed out but still there were screams and recognition. Sort of sad to have to live like that.

Anonymous, here are 2 more older stories for you.

Cher- I had her on flights from LAX to London and back a day later. When she got on the return flight and recognized some of us she whispered to one girl "I am so embarrassed I have on the same outfit you saw me in the other day!" to which the crew member replies, "Don't worry, so do we!" A really class act able to laugh at herself, she adores the concierges that work for the airlines that take care of her, they think the world of her.

Elaine Krakowski and Camryn Mannheim- back when they had newly popular shows several years ago (the Practice and Ally McBeal) they treated themselves to First Class seats on a trip to Paris. They could not have been more appreciative and down to earth. It is always nice to see someones first time in the 'big seats' even more so when you sort of recognize them.

A Small Observation

People (lets be honest...men) that walk around the city of London in jesters hats are rarely if ever sober. Boys, its not Mardi Gras, you are not travelling minstrels, but damn are you all drunk. Why???

The 40 Questions Answered

Recently a few bloggers like Melissa and Traytable have posted answers to 40 of the most common questions non airline people ask about our job. In the spirit of sharing, here are my answers.



1.Which airline is lucky enough to employ you? The one that loves George Gershwin. If you are clever, you can scroll down and see a photo of one of our planes.



2.What city(ies) are you based in? London baby. Specifically I fly out of Heathrow.



3.If you could choose any city, what would be your dream base? Tough to narrow down. For living in I would choose Paris, Cape Town or Auckland. Wait, add Tokyo to that list, and Hong Kong.



4.How long would you like to be based there? One year at a minimum. Maybe forever...



5.Have you ever done the nasty with a passenger you met on a plane? I plead the fifth on that one. I am not one to self incriminate!



6.Have you ever wanted to? Of course!



7.What is your favorite city thus far to layover in? Tokyo, Rome, Rio and New York.



8.Have you had famous people as passengers? Yes, you can read about the 10 celebrities I have spent the night with .



9.If so, who was your favorite? Gary Oldman.



10.Who was your least favorite? George Michael, great music but a true a&%hole.



11.Who would you love to have on your flight? Gary Oldman, or former president Jimmy Carter, for entirely different reasons.



12.Are you a language speaker for your airline? My current base does not have language trips, but I speak German and French. If or when I transfer back to the States, flying those trips is the only way to currently guarantee international flying.



13.What is your least favorite flight to work? One that has suffered a bad mechanical or weather delay, especially if it involves an aircraft change.



14.Do you have a flight you actually enjoy working? Truly, I do not mind any flight but i will say that those passengers that fly to Denver are kinder and gentler passengers and a little less precious than those flying to Los Angeles.



15.Have you ever done the nasty with a crew member? Only one I was dating at the time. Or something like that.



16.What do you watch on TV when you are getting ready for work on a layover? Law and order ALWAYS seems to be on TV when I am doing the 90 minutes of preflight prep work. The 'dunk dunk' sound is very comforting. If not that then Bravo or Discovery channel.



17.Have you ever dropped a passenger meal and served it? Only while it was still in its foil container, meaning, no part of it touched anything. I would not serve what I would not eat.



18.Do you prefer working coach, business class or first class? If I could pick who I am working with then first class . If it is a random crew, I will work where non lazy crew are working.



19.What is your favorite airplane to work? I know the 777 like the back of my hand so I will say that. Anything with 2 aisles is preferred, except the slave ship (747). Cruel to passengers and crew alike.



20.Do you know what crop-dusting inflight is? I do not care for any type of dusting, but sometimes you have to do it.



21.Do you prefer working early flights or late ones? My body clock prefers late flights, I have having to use an alarm clock. Early flights do have the benefit of everyone's day being fresh i.e. not much has gone wrong with their day yet so they are gentler passengers.



22.Do you like the uniform your airline gives you? Not particularly in comparison to European carriers uniforms. If worn as it should ( pressed, clean, and with pride) it is alright. I really hate when I see crew members looking like they have been pulled behind a train, rumpled too small uniforms, hair down, runs in tights, etc.



23.Do you take your laptop on a layover? Sometimes. This is dependant on whether or not Internet access is free and if I have no plans for the layover. I take it more often in winter than summer.



24.What is your LEAST favorite part of every flight? If it is a full flight then boarding.



25.What is the BEST hotel you have ever had a layover at? In Seoul the Swisshotel was pretty swish. The Steigenbergerhof in Frankfurt was also lovely.



26.Where did you interview for your job? At a hotel in Washington DC. I am still surprised they hired me and often thought of going to an open house to see if they would hire me again. The selection process seemed so arbitrary.



27.What other cities have you been based in? Washington DC, Chicago and Miami.



28.Favorite base? The city of Chicago is pretty fab, but the flying was CRAP. The flying in Miami was great, but the city only soso. London at the moment, it might be Washington in a year or two.



29.Why did you become a flight attendant? My mom was one in the glam days of flying. She sold me a bill of goods!! Seriously the "I love people and love to travel" did and does still apply.



30.Did you apply at other airlines that didn't want you? I applied at Delta but failed the eyesight portion of their physical. So , really, they only didn't want my eyes.



31.Do you like the airline you work for? I do not care for managements current style of leadership. I do have pride in my job and care for my coworkers . Is that PC enough?



32.Have you ever had the CEO of your airline onboard as a passenger? No I haven't.



33.Have you ever dated a passenger you met? Sort of.



34.Have you ever gotten into a disagreement with a fellow crew member? Of course. Working in such close quarters can make tempers flare from time to time. I make conscious choices to work in different cabins than those I cannot bear to work with. Clearly I avoid conflict!



35.Has a pilot ever hit on you? Hasn't everyone had a coworker hit on them? Pilots are like everyone else, some are jerks, some charmers, most are average Joes.



36.Do you dislike passengers or pilots more? I expect to like everyone until I hit some flack. Some crew are pilot haters, I am not.



37.Passengers ask annoying questions when they see you in uniform. What is your least favorite question? The old woman that asked me what branch of the military I was in got me to stop ever wearing trousers, now it is only the skirt! I do not mind the inevitable questions when I am on my way to work, but do not WAKE me from a nap on the tube to ask me what terminal your airline leaves from when there is a frickin sign that tells you in every train car!!!



38.What is the stupidest request a passenger has made of you? Can you move me up to first class? Yeah, that'll happen...



39.Is being a hostess with the mostess your only job? I do occasionally top up my income with catering jobs ( off the books), and I do mystery dining for a company which means free meals.



40.Have you ever gotten any long lasting relationships out of your job? The best friends I could ever wish to have, and several long term romantic ones as well. No complaints from me!!

Sadness Is

Losing the cord that allows you to download the photos from your digital camera to your computer..... back to tearing apart the room. If any Americans living overseas are reading this blog, please make sure to register to vote. Vote from Abroad can sort you out in no time. AFL_CIO is paying to send me to the states to man the phones reminding people to get out and vote. I will be travelling to either New Hampshire or one of the Carolinas. Could be , no, will be interesting! This gig is at the end of October.

Who Needs Runways???

We now have seaplanes!!! Think of the money saved on landing fees, and the glamorous destinations we can fly to.....