12 April 2009

13D Where are you?

I meant to blog about Cozumel tonight on my layover. But I cursed myself with my wishes for crazy passengers of my flight to blog about, cause boy oh boy did I get one. I need to preface this by explaining that the mentally ill are drawn to me on the plane like moths to a flame. Ask the girl who thought she was a rabbit and hopped around the economy cabin then wanted to eat lettuce and carrots. Or the man who was convinced we had stopped flying and we needed to admit we were hovering, before he proceeded to eat the inflight magazine.

Poor 13D. His wig alone would have made him stand out. A full head of hair that was clearly not his original color perched atop a hairless , browless head. But his tenuous grasp on reality made him stand out far more. He appeared in the galley telling a crew member people were attacking him and he wanted to file lawsuits. Then disappeared. Then reappeared with a 'limp' arm saying one of the crew had shoved him to the ground. Then nearly pulled the lavatory door off the hinges trying to push a pull door.

I was sent to deal with him (there was only 1 passenger in First Class, I wasn't busy) and try to assess his level of crazy. Not that I have any training in this, was just the only one not tired of him by then. Tried to get him to sit down with the offer of a drink. He said 'they' were watching his seat. So offered to move him to an empty area of business class, and have a cup of coffee or tea. He didn't know 'who he could trust'. So offered him a sealed bottle of water and/or a closed can of soda.  Explained he was suing everyone on the plane. When I got him to sit, he kept his tray table at a 90 degree angle to keep the Nazis away. Think of how soon WWII could have ended, if that was all it took !

He could not determine if he had a green card or not, for the immigration paperwork. Explained he was going to Reno for a conference ( dying to know for what). When last we left him, he was scratching his head over the address he was headed to. I hope some family met him wherever he was going, and man, did my post flight happy hour mojito go down a treat after this flight. I need a rest!!


Anonymous said...

They should make crazies fly with supervision, I would never want to sit next to "that guy" and it'd probably make me feel better if there was a little old lady explaining how he really is a nice man. Otherwise I'd be too scared he'd wig out and open the emergency exit or something stupid.

flying mum said...

Maybe it was a relative of Donna's from Chicago. Have you flown with her, Donna & her wig? I haven't had the pleasure yet.