Luckily I have had more than my share of crazies on the plane, both in the form of passengers and crew. Sometimes they converge on the same flight. On a recent all night flight we had crazies both in the front and back end of the plane. The economy crazy, I could have watched forever, but preferably with some sort of one way mirror between us.
The first clue to his mental state was when he boarded and asked if he had to bring his passport with him on the plane. Yes sir, if you want to enter a foreign country, that is your proverbial ticket in. So, he asked, I can't leave it on the jetway, I have to bring it on the plane? Yes....
He kept his Elmer Fudd hat on, askew so only one eye was visible. Busy he was, asking for 5 cans of Coke at a time. They were his "family" he told me. Hell , everyone's family has its share of kooks....
The family was busy watching him type his memoirs ( yes you know I had to ask what he was typing) in the air, fingers flying. You know maybe his crazy was not so much, for he managed to clear out a row for himself, on a mostly full flight. Maybe he was crazy like a fox....
The front end crazy was only a fiscal fool. He rapidly got drunk and told us how he was one of the richest expats living in Moscow. He took a shine to the black gal working first class aisle and told her she could buy herself a little prezzie out of the duty free cart. One 400.00 purse later, he cracked out another card and told her the whole crew could get something, that he would spend 1000 Euros on us. Our crew proceeded to melt the plastic rapidly. He bought one guy a watch, another a Montblanc pen. Somehow those of us that were on break got the shaft, the purser was mum that this whole giftapalooza had gone on. The rest of the crew busted her, somehow out 'gifts' were in her bag. She dug them out, and we ended up having to share coffrets of perfume. Curiously all the brands she wore. I swear if nothing had been said, we 3 would have got squat. Its not enough I have to work with her, now I have to smell like her...
2 comments:
Yaaa-ay! You're back! Nobody quite tells an inflight story like you do, Heather!
Heather, we need more!!!
My last few flights have been uneventful and I haven't flown with your employer for ages. Yes, I've sold my soul to this country's carriers. It's the booze.
Am kicking myself that I was in Frankfurt in March...should have tried to get in touch!
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