Even worse than snakes on a plane

In many gates at Heathrow airport there are racks of free magazines for the fliers to read. As the crew gets to the gate before passengers, we descend on the mags like hungry vultures. Usually , as they are free, they are an odd mix of odd titles like Watchmakers Monthly or Beekeepers Journal. Once in a while I find this magazine, I think for men, called the Short List.

Short List is a periodical that is designed for the ADD generation, articles are short and there are many many lists of things. A list in the most recent edition was about animals that ruin flights. At least one of these items will surely create a new phobia in all of us....

1.In 2006, three Qantas flights were aborted at Brisbane Airport due to wasps making homes within the A330 planes.

2.In July 2005, an Air France plane heading to Nigeria unknowingly landed on 50 cows,seven of which were killed.

3.An Indian Airways flight had to circle Gauhati Airport in 2000 while villagers banged drums to scare off an elephant.

4.In october 2006, passengers at Manchester waited 26 hours while staff stripped their plane to find a lost cat.

5.Passengers of a Saudia Airlines flight in december 2006 may have felt a little unsettled when 80 rats escaped from a bag at 25,000 feet.

6.Director of Columbia Zoo Jack Hanna left Ohio's OSU Airport in 2007 via a turnstile while carrying a baby flamingo in a box, but got wedged in the gate.

7.Milan's Linate airport had to close in June 2007 in order to capture wild hares that were affecting radar signals.

8.Last September, a crafty monkey crept into the VIP lounge at New Dehli,forcing the departure lounge to close.

9.Mok, a Thai sniffer dog, was relieved from service last year because he liked to pee on luggage and hump ladies' legs.

10.In 2007 builder David Sullivan felt a dead leg on his flight to Vermont. He had been stung by a scorpion three times.